A Question of Strength chaptered version
by KawaiixCherryxBlossom
Summary: Ash suggers a terrible loss, and has to learn to cope with it.
1. Terminal Speed

A Test of Strength

A Test of Strength By BellaWaterFlower 

Hey all, I'm back. I've been preparing this fic for ages, so that's where I've been. Although I guess it hasn't been THAT long, compared to how long I thought it would take. Anywayz, I'll let you read.

** **

I did the chaptering thing also, for those of you who like chapters. I didn't have time the other day though, so I'm doing it now. Hope u like!

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Terminal Speed 

It was a dreary day as Ash, Misty and Brock reached the Pokémon Centre. They were currently in Goldenrod City, and Ash was looking to compete for his next gym badge – the Plain badge. However, before they could do anything they had to stop to heal their injured Pokémon. They hadn't seen anything but trees and bushes for days, and needed to stock up on items and supplies before they left again. Pikachu could barely stand from all the exhaustion. They all stumbled in, Brock of course turning red at first sight of the Nurse Joy standing at the desk. He didn't even have time to act, though, as he felt a hand on his ear. He turned around to see Misty shaking her head at him, showing that she wasn't in the mood.

"Ok ok! I promise I won't do anything!" he cried. 

Satisfied with the answer, Misty turned to Ash. "Well, I guess we'd better heal our Pokémon and get to the next gym quick, huh Ash?" 

He nodded. "Yeah, I can't wait to have another battle. The only ones I've had recently are battles against Team Rocket."

The three of them walked up to the counter and asked Joy to heal their Pokémon. Brock could see Misty narrowing her eyes at him, and she held her hand ready to grip his ear again if he tried anything. Ash couldn't help but laugh. They gave all their Pokémon over, and were about to leave to have some dinner, when the Joy asked them a question. "Before you go, do any of you know anyone by the name of Ash Ketchum?" 

Ash looked at her strangely. "Yeah, that's me…"

Joy gasped. "Oh my gosh! Thank goodness I've found you! I have a message for you from Professor Oak. He told me it was extremely important, and he knew you'd be passing through here so he left it with me." She dug into a drawer and pulled out a piece of paper, handing it over to him. Ash took it and opened it straight away. 'What could be so important that Professor Oak couldn't wait till I called him?' Ash wondered. He read the note out loud. 

"_Ash,_

I need you to come to Pallet immediately. Your mom is sick, she collapsed the today and has been put in hospital, but they say it could be bad. I don't want to worry you but I think you should come. See you soon.

_ _

_~Professor Oak." _Ash stopped and re-read the note again to see if he was reading right. He looked up at Misty and Brock. Their faces were filled with just as much worry as his. His put the letter in his bag. "Guys, I have to go back."

Misty looked into his eyes. She could see they had been overpowered by hints of confusion and worry. "It's ok. We'll just wait for the Pokémon and then…"

"No, we can't wait", Ash interrupted her. "What if mom is really _really_ sick? I have to get there right away. I'll go catch the next flight to Pallet Town, but can you guys bring my Pokémon later?"

Brock nodded. "Sure Ash. And don't worry. I'm sure everything will be ok." 

Ash nodded at him unsurely, and started to walk out, when Misty called out to him. "Ash wait!" 

He turned back to her. 

"Ash let me come with you. Brock can bring both our Pokémon, and you don't really wanna be by yourself do ya?" Misty asked. 

Ash looked unsure. "You don't have to Misty."

Misty shook her head. "But I want to. At least you'll have some company." 

Ash nodded and half smiled. "Ok, thanks Misty." 

She smiled back, half blushing. They checked with Brock if that was ok, and quickly rushed to the airport. 

Ash and Misty got to the airport 15 minutes later, and straight away boarded a plane to Pallet. 

It was night time as the plane swiftly flew through the air. It would take about 4 hours to get to Pallet, seeing they had walked so far into Johto. The two sat next to each other in the plane. Misty was falling asleep but Ash couldn't stop think about his mom. Misty opened her eyes and looked to him. 'Oh no, he's so worried. But what can I do to help? I guess I can try to convince him that everything will be fine, but I don't know that. Oh…why do bad things happen to such good people…?' Misty thought as she drifted to sleep. 

Ash could feel her look at him, he knew she was also worrying. All he wanted to do was cry, and he didn't even know anything about his mom's condition yet. For all he knew it could be stress or over-tiredness. As soon as he noticed Misty fall asleep he let the tears that were coming drip down his eyes, and he pulled his cap over and tried to fall asleep. But no matter how he tried, sleep wouldn't come, and the next to hours were spent desperately fighting his thoughts of worry. After a long while, he gave up, and sat up. Misty was just waking up, too. 

"Ugh, how long was I asleep for?" she asked him. 

"Two hours", he replied tonelessly. 

She noticed he still had the same endless, worried look on his face. "Ash, are you gonna be ok?" 

Ash nodded unsurely. "I dunno what's come over me. It's just the thought of my strong mom sick makes me think that something is really wrong with her. She is never, ever sick. And no matter how much I try to convince myself, I can't shake the feeling from my head." 

Misty was surprised at the depth of his words. He sounded…smart? She nodded turned so that her whole body was facing him. "Ash I know you're worried, and I can't tell you not to worry because I don't know what's going on either. All you can do is wait and pray, and I know it must be terrible but… just remember that whatever happens, Brock and I will be here for you." 

Ash nodded. "Yeah, you're right Misty. Thanks."

She smiled mildly. "You're welcome."

They both fell silent as the TV was switched on and they both put the earphones on to watch it. But Misty couldn't stand seeing Ash so unhappy. He was always so energetic and hyperactive, in a good way. 'How can I cheer him up…?' she thought. 'Oh! I know…' 

"Ash", she said, taking her headphones off. "Do you still remember when we first met?"

Ash took his own earphones off and blinked at her blankly. "Huh? Yeah of course I do". A small smile crossed his face at that moment, as he said, "How could I forget?" 

Misty smiled back. "You were sooo immature. I was so mad when you took my bike. It was the only thing I had left that reminded me of home. But when I got to the Pokémon Centre and you were there all upset because of Pikachu, I felt really sorry for you."

"Yeah I guess I was a little immature…" Ash said, looking up at Misty, who had her eyebrows raised. "Ok, maybe a lot!" she laughed.

"Oh, Misty, do you remember when we went to Pewter City? You got mad at me when I wouldn't use your Pokémon, and you left me with the bill of where we were eating."

Misty laughed at the thought. "Yeah! But come to think of it, why wouldn't you use my Pokémon?"

"Well, I guess I just wanted to prove to myself that I could win with the Pokémon I had trained."

"Ohh, I never thought of it that way… oh yeah, and do you remember Seymour and the Clefairy? I seriously thought there was something wrong with that guy."

Ash laughed at the thought. "Yeah I know. He was a mental case. And then when we were on our way to Viridian City, that other guy, the alien one. Remember him?"

Misty nodded. "I know, the one that called me an alien. Oswald."

Ash laughed. "Yeah, that's right. Oh, Giselle at Pokémon Tech. I remember you getting all mad at her because everyone liked her."

"She really annoyed me that one. I can't stand people like that, who just love themselves more than anything else in the world."

"Yeah, same. Part of the reason why I can't stand Gary."

Misty quietened down. "So, how come you and Gary are rivals? I thought that two people from such a small place would be really good friends. You never told me."

Ash looked down, not liking to remember the thought. "Well, we were best friends, ever since we were born. We were like twins. Nobody could pull us apart. But when we started getting into Pokémon, we…well, he changed. Gary became bigger, and more mature than me, and we started to see less and less of each other. I was really upset, because Gary was the best friend I ever had. When we were almost 10, and were beginning to learn about Pokémon and stuff, he just totally ignored me and stayed with Professor Oak. He was really mean to me, saying how he was gonna beat me and all. I guess it was just competitiveness."

"Oh, really? Wow, I never would have guessed that you two were best friends", Misty said. She could see Ash didn't like to talk about it though, and felt bad for bringing it up. So she decided to bring up another happy moment from the past. "Oh, Ash, do you remember when we wanted, well, you wanted, to find the ancient Pokémon bones, and Team Rocket planted that trap and you all got stuck in there?" 

Ash laughed. "Yeah, I really thought that Aerodactyl was gonna eat me…"

The conversation went on for another hour, until Ash and Misty landed. Misty had managed to reach her goal – she cheered Ash up and made him laugh and smile like he usually does. 

The two reached the Pallet Town General Hospital at 12:00pm. Both of them were extremely tired, and wanted nothing else but to go to sleep, but Ash knew he had to see his mom. Ash ran to the front desk, Misty right behind him.

"Excuse me, but where can I find Deliah Ketchum?"

The nurse at the desk typed a few keys into her computer. "Oh, I'm sorry, but it's only visiting time for immediate family."

"I'm her son."

"Oh, ok. She's in room 110, floor 2."

"Thanks, c'mon Misty."

"Wait!" the nurse halted them. "You can't go through unless you're related", she said, pointing at Misty.

Misty frowned. "Oh…"

"She can come with me! She's uh…umm…she's my girlfriend!" Ash blurted out. 

Misty facefaulted. 'What?!' she though, but didn't say anything, he must have a plan.

"Please, you have to let her through. My mom knows her really well."

The nurse looked at him weirdly, but then smiled. "Oh! What a cute couple! Go on through kids." 

Ash and Misty blushed and looked away, but then Ash quickly ran off to the elevators, with Misty closely in tow. He literally jumped into the elevator. "Ash slow down!" Misty cried. Once she was also inside, he pressed the button for floor 2. 

"Hey Misty, I'm sorry about that", Ash said quietly. 

"Huh? About what?" 

"The girlfriend thing… I just don't want to come in here alone…"

Misty half blushed, but shook her head. "It's ok Ash. I would've done the same thing." 

Ash smiled weakly at her. 'If only she really was my girlfriend. Ha, but I can only wish…' The elevator dinged to show that it was at floor 2, and the two got out. 

Ash rushed down the corridor to the room the nurse had pointed him to. He burst into the room, with Misty close behind, just in time to see the doctor telling his mom the results. 

"Ash!" Deliah called out. 

"Mom, are you ok? What happened?!" Ash cried, running straight to her bedside. Deliah Ketchum looked incredibly sick. She was white in complexion and a nervous wreck. She signalled to the doctor to tell her the news of her testing. Misty came and sat next to Ash, ready to help him if he needed it. 

The doctor, known as Dr. Adams, began. "Your testing had showed up what is wrong with you, and what has caused you to collapse and feel unwell. I wish I could tell you that what showed up on the results is good news, but I'm afraid it isn't."

Deliah frowned. "What…what do you mean?" she stuttered out. 

"You have a tumor in your brain. It has been lying there dormant for quite some time now. But it has recently become active, and it has spread beyond its place of origin. It has invaded your tissues and blood vessels, and entered your bloodstream. This is what caused you to black out, and feel tired and dizzy all the time."

"Oh my God…" Deliah murmured.

"Well, isn't there some kind of treatment?" Ash said. He could feel tears threatening to spill out of his eyes, but held them back. He wanted to be brave. 

"I'm sorry, but there's nothing we can do. Because the tumour has been there for a long time, it has spread around the whole bloodstream. Why you have only just begun to feel symptoms I don't know, but the tumor has totally taken over your body. It's rare, but some people don't feel any symptoms at all. I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but we cannot do anything to help you…" the doctor said in a tone that showed no emotions. It was hard to tell whether he was happy or upset. It's like something a doctor has to learn when training, not to show any emotion when telling patients they're going to die. 

"What are you saying?" Ash said unbelievably. 'I can't believe I'm hearing this…' he thought. Again, he had to urge to cry, but kept it back.

"The tumor is malignant, it has been for some time now, and terminal."

Ash and Deliah began to cry. Misty looked on in fear. 'Oh my God…' she thought. 

"No! you can't tell me my mom is going to die!" Ash cried, getting up to face the doctor. 

"I'm…I'm sorry young man…"

Ash's jaw dropped in shock. Tears spilled out of Misty's eyes, and for the first time in a while, she began to cry seriously. 

"How long have I got?" Deliah asked.

"It's hard to say. Because the cancer has spread so fast, so much, it's most likely to be weeks."

Deliah closed her eyes tightly, wanting it to all go away. 'Why did this have to happen to me?' she asked herself. She opened her eyes again. "Thankyou doctor."

Dr. Adams nodded, and walked out of the room. Ash walked over to his mom, and hugged her tightly. "Oh mom… Why did this have to happen?" he choked out. 

Misty stopped crying and held her tears back. She didn't know what to say. Her best friend was about to loose his mother. The only part of his family he had left, as she thought because he didn't seem to have a father, and never talked about him. She lowered her eyes and clenched her fist. "Why…?' she murmured quietly, letting one more tear slip down her face. 

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Ciao! Luv Sarah.


	2. The Pain of Loss

A Test of Strength

A Test of Strength By BellaWaterFlower 

The Pain Of Loss 

** **

Ash and Misty had went home after a while of staying at the hospital. Dr. Adams told them that Deliah needed her rest, and they could come back in the morning. Ash had stopped crying, but his eyes were red and he looked more upset than he ever had before. Ash and Misty sat in the lounge watching TV, not saying anything, waiting for Brock. Misty couldn't think of anything to say to him that would be the right thing to say. Plus, she was afraid of upsetting him. they sat in silence for 15 minutes, when they heard a knock at the door. Mimie was at Professor Oak's, so Misty got up to answer it. It was Brock, with Pikachu, and Togepi in his arm. Pikachu bounded off in search of his trainer, and Togepi jumped chirpily into Misty's arms, giving her a hug. Brock saw that Misty looked upset. 

"Hey Misty, what's wrong?" he inquired.

She sighed, and a few tears slipped down her face. 

"Misty? What happened? Did you have another fight with Ash?"

Misty shook her head. "No, it isn't that… Ash's mom…"

"Oh yeah. Is she ok?"

"No, no she isn't. Mrs. Ketchum has a brain tumour, and…and it's terminal Brock."

Brock gasped. "Oh my gosh…"

Misty lowered her head. "Yeah…"

"How's Ash?" he said in a low voice.

Misty pointed towards the room he was in. "See for yourself."

Brock looked in and saw Ash sitting on one of the couches. He had his hat over his eyes and was stroking Pikachu gently. Brock frowned. He went over to him and put a hand on his shoulder. "Hey Ash. I'm sorry…"

Ash looked up at him for a brief moment. Brock could see that his eyes were puffy and red from crying, and they showed emotions of fear and sadness. Ash nodded, and went back to stroking Pikachu. Misty sat down and the three of the watched a bit more TV. But about 10 minutes later, Ash suddenly got up. Leaving Pikachu behind, he ran up to his room and slammed the door. Misty looked to Brock, who was frowning. Brock began to get up, but Misty stopped him. She stood up. "Let me go talk to him Brock." He nodded and she walked to Ash's room. 

It was dark in his room as Misty opened the door. The moonlight shining through the curtains provided the only light, which was very dim. She could hear Ash crying as she walked inside. He was lying on his bed, face down, with his face in the pillow. Misty didn't know what to say. 'I can't ask him if he's ok, because I know he isn't. His mom is dying. What do I do?' she thought. She knew that he knew she was there, but he didn't say anything. Misty walked over to the bed, and tapped on his shoulder. He sniffed a few times, but turned around to face her. He sat up and put his feet on the floor, putting his head in his hands. Misty sat next to him. 

"What did I do to make this happen?" he choked out, and he began sobbing again. 

Misty frowned. "Ash… you didn't do anything. These things just happen sometimes. It's nobody's fault." She saw that he wasn't convinced, and needed comforting, so she put her arm around his shoulder. 'There's nothing else I can do. This is the only way I can let him know that it's gonna be ok.' 

He let her pull him into a hug, and gratefully cried in her arms. Usually he'd have his mom to do this, but now everything had changed. He cried for a little, and then stopped. He pulled out of Misty's arms. "Thanks Misty."

She smiled and nodded. "No problem. Why don't you get some sleep now."

He nodded slowly. "Ok I'll try."

Misty walked out of the room and closed the door slowly. She wasn't used to seeing her friend in an emotional state. He always tried to act strong and calm. 'I guess this time it's too much for him.' She walked downstairs to the questioning eyes of Brock. 

"He's ok. He just needed to cry it out." 

Brock nodded. "That's understandable. This is probably the first time anything like this has happened to him. He doesn't know how to deal with it."

Pikachu scampered upstairs to Ash's room. Misty told Brock she was going to sleep, and he nodded and agreed that they should all get some rest. It was hard to sleep though. She thought of Mrs. Ketchum as a second mother. But the thing that upset her most was thinking of what this loss might do to Ash. He was already depressed, and she hadn't died yet. But she pushed it all out of her mind, and closed her eyes tight. Sleep never came though. She couldn't get the horrible thoughts that lurked in her mind out. She stayed awake all night thinking of what was going to happen when she died, and why it was Deliah that this was happening to. In the end she tried to cry herself to sleep, she finally drifted off but it 5 minutes later it was time to get up and go to the hospital. 

For 2 weeks Ash went back and forth from the hospital. He got up at 5 o'clock every morning and left, and went back home at midnight. He was tired, but he ignored it. Misty and Brock went with him everytime. Ash's Pokémon were unfit and not eating properly because Ash wasn't spending time training them, but they understood that he was going through a tough time and let Misty and Brock take care of them. Ash was just in another world. He didn't cry anymore, but his friends could tell he was deeply hurt. Misty hadn't seen him smile since he found out the news, and that was a rare thing. 

It was a cold, windy day as Ash sat next to his mom in hospital. Deliah looked even sicker by then, and she could hardly speak. But it was this day that she had rather serious talk with her son. 

"Ash", she said weakly. 

"Yeah mom? Don't talk, it takes up too much strength."

She shook her head. "No, I have to talk to you. Please, let me speak."

Ash slowly nodded. 'What could be up?' he thought. He was feeling uneasy and nervous. 

"Ash, I want to talk to you about Misty."

"Misty?" he began to feel even more nervous. 

"I know you care about her, it's obvious."

Ash facefaulted. "What?! I do not!"

"Ash you don't have to hide it from me. I know you like her more than a friend. I was just wondering what you were going to do about it."

Ash blushed. He stared at the floor. 

"Ash sweetie, if you don't tell her you'll lose her."

"But how can I? I don't know that she feels the same way. If I tell her and she doesn't, it will totally destroy our friendship, and I don't want that."

Deliah smiled. "I don't think that will be the case. Believe me Ash, I can tell when two people are in love, and you two have a sort of connection. Think about it Ash, and when the time is right, tell her. I need to know that you'll do this. Promise me."

He smiled. "I will, when the time is right. I promise." Deep inside he wondered why his mother was so pushy about it. 'Does she feel that she's dying right now?' he questioned, but shook the thought. But it returned as he left, and his mom was extra emotional. She kissed and hugged him, and told him to be careful _and_ change his underwear every day.

"I love you Ash. Never forget that."

"I love you too mom", he said tearily. He wanted to stay, but he was so tired he could hardly stay awake. He cried saying goodbye to her, because she was so emotional. But he left to go home, and went straight to sleep when he got home. He slept for a whole day, catching up on the 2 weeks he had missed. He had wanted to wake up, but couldn't. Slumber took over him, and he when he woke up he started to get ready to go back to the hospital. He was extra worried because of Deliah's emotional state the day before, and couldn't believe he had forgotten to go back to her. But as he was getting ready, he got a phone call. 

"Ash it's the doctor", Misty said as she handed him the phone. She stood right behind him as he talked.

"Hello?" he said into the phone. 

"Mr. Ketchum? Is that you?"

"Yes, this is me."

"This is Dr. Adams. I'm…I'm afraid I have some bad news."

Ash gulped and tears stung his eyes. He made a small sound into the phone to let the doctor know that he was still there. 

"Ash you mom died overnight. I'm sorry, we tried to revive her but her time had come. I truly, deeply sorry."

Ash was stunned. He was expecting the phone call, he knew it was coming that day or soon after, yet he was so unprepared. He couldn't do or say anything. He stood in shock at the force of the words. His mother was gone, and he would never be able to talk to her, see her smile, have her hold him or do anything with her ever again. He was so young, so in need of her right now, but she was gone and she would never return. He couldn't cry, he was too shocked. Misty put her hand on his shoulder. She too knew that this call meant death. She took the phone from the frozen boy and told Dr. Adams they'd be at the hospital soon. With Brock's help she led Ash over to the couch. He hadn't said anything, he just stood there with his eyes staring straight ahead, as if he was a statue. Brock sat in front of him on the table. 

"Now Ash. I know you have just suffered a terrible loss. I'm very sorry, and I need to let you know that whatever pain you're feeling inside, you have to get it out. If you feel like crying, cry. If you want to kick and scream and tear up the house, do it. Just don't keep your anger and emotional pain bottled up inside of you. I know how it feels to loose a mother, because I lost mine. This is the first time something like this has happened to you, and you'll have your own way of dealing with it. But whatever happens, Misty and I will be here for you."

Ash blinked at Brock, and tears came to his eyes as he thought. 'I'll never see her, ever again. There are no second chances. That's why she was so emotional when I left that day. She knew she was going to die. I knew it though, I knew she knew. Why didn't I do something about it? I don't want to cry. Not anymore. Isn't that too babyish? But Brock just said that I should get all my anger out.' A mixture of thoughts rushed through his head and he let the tears run. He laid face down on the couch and cried into the pillow. Misty put a comforting hand on his back. Pikachu, who had just woken up, came downstairs and snuggled near its trainers' head. It knew what had happened without even asking. Ash cried for about 10 minutes straight, then calmed down a bit. Misty couldn't control her pain, and she also cried. Brock just sat there. He knew how it felt, he was used to it, loosing many people in his life. He comforted his two friends, telling them that things would get better. But nothing he could say or do could ease their pain, especially Ash's. the horrible pain of loss was as hard to brush aside as a migraine. It lurks within your thoughts until it drives you crazy. Ash didn't know what to do. His only refuge were his friends, and they were the people he'd be needing most for the next few months. 

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Ciao! Luv Sarah


	3. Happy Death Day

A Test of Strength

A Test of Strength By BellaWaterFlower 

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Happy Death Day 

** **

The funeral had been planned for Sunday. It was Saturday, a week after her death. Ash wasn't coping well. His sleeping and eating patterns weren't normal, and they definitely weren't healthy. He spent most of his time looking at old photo's of him and his mom, in his room, occasionally coming down for something to eat. He didn't cry, because he wanted to be strong. He wanted to turn back into the person he was when he was on his journey. Strong and ambitious, not letting anything or anyone get in his way. he wanted to somehow switch out of this life and lead another one. But he knew that nothing he thought of was possible. He was here and this was now, and he couldn't change what had happened. He didn't have any sort of connection with his Pokémon at that time. Not even Pikachu. He just didn't have time for them. He tried to force himself to train them, but he couldn't do it. And he knew that Brock and Misty were helping him out by letting them out of their Poké balls and letting them have a stretch and something to eat each day. Throughout that week, Misty had been with him most of the time. She would talk with him, make him feel more comfortable, try to make him smile… He was more grateful to her for that than he could be for anything else. They were becoming closer, and he couldn't help but remember his mother's dying wish. _"Believe me Ash, I can tell when two people are in love, and you two have a sort of connection. Think about it Ash, and when the time is right, tell her". _He had so much on his mind, he just wanted to get it out. 

The next day was the funeral, and the weather outside matched everybody's moods. It was cold, rainy, stormy and windy. The sky was a dark grey, and thunder rumbled in the distance. Ash didn't even want to go, he didn't feel well. But he knew it was the last chance he had to say goodbye. He also wanted to say a eulogy, if he could manage. He dressed in a suit and tie, and walked with a similarly dressed Brock, and Misty, who wore a black dress and long black coat, into the church where the funeral would be held. Pikachu wore a black bow-tie and had an distressed look on its small face. Ash stood at the church doors as people filed in. They shook his hand and told him how sorry they were. Even Gary was there, and he hugged Ash in a friendly embrace as he walked in, letting him know that he was very sorry. Ash was pleased that he had come from his journey to be here, and hoped they could be friends again. Jessie and James even turned up. They hugged Ash and told him that it should have been them that something bad happened to, not him. He wasn't surprised. Now he definitely knew they were good people. 

After everyone had sat down, the session started. Ash hadn't cried yet, but tears came to him as the song that had been chosen was played. It was 'There you'll be' by Faith Hill, and he shuddered and let his tears flow as he felt the impact the words had on him. The mass seemed to go by quickly, and he didn't even notice the tall, dark haired man in the back, who was wearing a trench coat and had a hat over his face, watching. When the priest asked if anybody wanted to say anything, Ash got up. He quietly asked Misty if she would go with him, and she nodded. She stood next to him as he talked. 

"My mom was definitely an inspirational women. She brought me up all on her own since I was about 4, when my father left. She never had any doubts about it. And even though sometimes things were tough, she never gave up on me. I never thought anything like this would happen to her. She has been so kind to everyone she met. I frequently ask myself why this happened. She did nothing to deserve it. But I know I can't change what future God has in store for us. I can't change the fact that my mom, the person that knows me better than I know myself, who has taken care of me since I was born, just died. I wish it never happened. I wish I could erase it, but I can't. I ugh…don't know what I'll do without her. And ummm…" he began to quiver as he spoke. He didn't even know what he was saying. Words just poured out of his mouth sub-consciously. "…I'm sorry", he blurted out, and walked back to his seat, 

accompanied by the sympathetic looks of the people around him. Misty smiled weakly at him, her face saying that he did good. He didn't really even know what he said, he was very 

confused. When the funeral ended, and he coffin was buried, Ash stood alone in front of where the gravestone was planted. He had wanted some time alone. He touched the soft, marble stone, and read the words on the plaque. 'You filled us with courage, joy and love. You deserved everything but to die. We will always love you'. He sniffed. 

He didn't even notice a person come up behind him until he put a hand on his shoulder. Ash slowly turned around, and almost fainted at what he saw. 

"Dad?"

Luke Ketchum nodded. He was the tall, dark haired man who sat in the back of the church. He had taken off his trench coat. He was about 6 foot tall, with spiky jet black hair and deep brown eyes. Anyone who looked at the two next to each other would be able to tell that they were closely related. He was the one where Ash got all of his looks from. 

Ash gulped. "Oh my gosh…"

His father leant down to him, and Ash jumped into his arms. His father held him and Ash cried the rest of the tears he had left out. When Ash had finished, he pulled back out of his dad's arms. 

"Dad, what are you doing here? Where have you been all this time?"

"I heard about Deliah. I couldn't believe it when I read in the newspaper that she had died. I didn't know anything about it… I didn't even get to say goodbye…" He stared at the floor. 

Ash stared at him with an emotionless face. 

His father knew what he wanted to know. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a badge, placing it into his son's hand. Ash looked down, and almost fainted again. In his hand he held the official badge of the Pokémon Master. His father was the Pokémon Master. He looked up at him with disbelief. 

"That's where I've been all that time, Ash. Earning that title. I am not allowed to reveal who I am to anyone. You can't say a thing. My identity is such a huge secret I've had to change my name. I'm Lucas Sullivan now, except for when I'm training at my official place. I've wanted to come home for so long to see you, but I haven't been able to. People are looking everywhere for me. Trying to get the scoop on what type of Pokémon I use, and how they can beat me."

"I…I don't know what to say", Ash stuttered out. "The Pokémon Master…"

"I had to come back this time. I knew this would be tough for you. Just as tough as it is for me. Your mother knew about who I am. I thought that now you were the only one left, you should know too."

"I don't know what I'll do without her…"

"I know it's going to be hard. But you're strong. I've been watching you. I saw you when you first competed in the Indigo League, and when you beat the Orange League. TV serves a good purpose. I'm very proud of you son. I can't even express in words how proud I am that you have gotten so far."

Ash smiled slowly. He had been wanting to know where his dad was since he had left on his journey when Ash was 4. He thought he had abandoned him, but knew because of the money he sent every week that this wasn't the case. Ash didn't know what to say at all. And he was surprised at that because he had thought so many times about what he would say if this ever happened. He was deep in thought when his father's beeper went off.

"Oh, I'm sorry Ash. My time is up."

Ash frowned, but he knew he had to let his father go. He hugged his dad. "I'll miss you. And I'll see ya at the next Indigo League. You better train your Pokémon harder", Ash smiled. 

"I love you Ash. And I'll definitely see you soon, the way you're going. You'll be following in my footsteps. I know you can do it."

They let go, and Mr. Ketchum walked back the way he had come. Ash waved slowly, and then frowned. A few minutes later, Misty came over with Pikachu.

"Ash are you alright?" 

Ash nodded as Pikachu jumped into his arms. Misty told him that it was time to go. Ash took one more look at the gravestone. "I love you mom. Goodbye", he said, and the three of them walked off to find Brock. 

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Hey, here are the words to the song I used for the funeral just in case you wanted to know them. I know some people hate me putting songs in, but some like it, so I thought I'd just put them I an authors note. Thankies 2 ZAPDOS for finding the words for me. (I know it's more of a song for romance, like in Pearl Harbour, but the words fit this situation…) This song is soooo sad… 

There You'll Be – Faith Hill 

When I think back on these times   
And the dreams we left behind   
I'll be glad 'cause I was blessed   
To get, to have you in my life  
When I look back on these days   
I'll look and see your face  
You were right there for me  
  
In my dreams I'll always see you soar above the sky  
In my heart there will always be a place for you, for all my life.

I'll keep a part of you with me  
And everywhere I am, there you'll be

And everywhere I am, there you'll be  
  
Well you showed me how it feels  
To feel the sky within my reach  
And I always will remember all the strength you gave to me  
Your love made me make it through  
Oh, I owe so much to you  
You were right there for me  
  
In my dreams I'll always see you soar above the sky  
In my heart there will always be a place for you, for all my life

I'll keep a part of you with me  
And everywhere I am, there you'll be  
  
'Cause I always saw in you my light, my strength  
And I want to thank you now   
For all the ways you were right there for me  
You were right there for me  
For always

In my dreams I'll always see you soar above the sky  
In my heart there will always be a place for you, for all my life

I'll keep a part of you with me  
And everywhere I am, there you'll be

And everywhere I am, there you'll be

There you'll be

Ciao! Luv Sarah.


	4. Hard Rain

A Test of Strength

A Test of Strength By BellaWaterFlower 

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Hard Rain 

** **

One week after the funeral, Ash and his friends were still staying at the house which now belonged to Ash. Even though Ash had told himself that he could get through the situation, he was finding it almost impossible to live knowing that he'd never see his mother again. Along with this, came the inability to train properly. Sure, he tried. He tried as hard as he could to get back on track with his training for the Johto League. But each time he tried to engage in a battle, or simply teach his Pokémon simple skills, he would end up giving up because of a lack of self-confidence and tiredness. The fact was, that he didn't even want to DO anything. He just wanted to sit around and mope all day. His friends were equally upset, especially Misty. Brock and herself were upset about Mrs. Ketchum, but also about Ash. The energetic, hyperactive friend they had a while ago was just replaced with the depressed, miserable boy that walked around the house with nothing to do. The other thing, was that Ash never cried anymore. All his crying had been done, but it seemed like he wanted to cry all the time. However, his eyes remained cold and his face plain. The weather must've followed suit, because winter had truly set in. thunder mostly roared, and the rain had hardly stopped at all. The sky was always grey and gloomy, and dark clouds hung limply in the air. 

It was one of those exact days, when Misty woke up early from not being able to sleep, and Ash wasn't there. He always let her have the bed, and he slept on the floor. But when she woke up and looked down, like she always did, to check if he was ok, he was gone. 'He probably couldn't sleep and got up early, and went downstairs', she thought to herself. But just to calm her nerves about where he was so early, she got up. The chill of the morning breeze surrounded her body, so she pulled some warm clothes on and splashed some water on her face in the bathroom to wake herself up. She walked downstairs and looked for Ash. But to her surprise and amazement, he wasn't there. He had left all of his Pokémon behind, even Pikachu, who was asleep on the lounge near Brock. She was starting to get worried, when she saw a letter, stuck to the fridge with a small Jigglypuff magnet holding it up. She pulled it off and went to sit down. She opened the envelope and took the letter out, too worried about what it was going to say to waste a minute, or even wake Brock! The letter read:

Dear Misty and Brock, 

I guess you were wondering where I was, and you found this letter. I tried to put it in an obvious spot. But anyway, that isn't why you're reading this. I'm most likely at the cemetery right now. Don't get worried, I'll come back. I just need some time to think. This loss has been really hard for me. I thought that maybe I could cope with it but I underestimated how difficult it would be. Wow, I just realised how smart I sound in this letter. I've been thinking crazily about things. I don't seem to have the energy to train anymore. I was even thinking giving it up. But I'm not sure… I know I'll regret it, but I just can't do it anymore. I'm going now. See you both soon. 

Love,

Ash.

Misty finished reading it, and quickly went to wake up Brock, careful not to wake up Pikachu, or it would get worried too. She didn't know what to do. It was pouring outside, and Ash was out there upset. Who knows what he could do. Brock woke up groggily.

"Misty, it's 5:00 am. What are you doing?" he asked tiredly.

"Brock, get up! We have a problem!" 

Brock bolted up. "What?! What is it?!" 

"Ash is gone. Here, read this letter", she said, shoving the letter in his face. He read it carefully, checking everything twice. After he was done, he slowly put it down, and frowned. 

"Well?" Misty asked.

He frowned again. "I'm afraid there's nothing we can do Misty."

"What?!" she asked, perplexed.

"Ash has to deal with this on his own. We can't get through this for him. That's something only he can do."

"But what if he goes and does something stupid?!"

"Ash is level-headed Misty. Plus, he has become a lot smarter and more mature through this experience. He isn't going to do anything stupid."

"I don't care. We're his friends Brock, we have to help him…"

"Misty I'm telling you. I've been through all of this before! I know how he feels. Trust me."

"No Brock. I'm going to find him. Please, just let me talk to him. I want to."

Brock sighed. He knew Misty cared for Ash. It was more obvious to him than to anyone, being their best friend. He nodded slowly, and she smiled, getting an umbrella out. 

"Thanks Brock, I knew you'd understand."

She walked out the door into the pouring rain, praying that Ash was ok. 

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**Ciao! Luv Sarah.**


	5. Sounds of Silence

A Test of Strength

A Test of Strength

**By BellaWaterFlower**

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** **

**Sounds of Silence**

** **

The rain still poured when Misty entered the cemetery. 'It seems ever more gloomier here than it is anywhere else, even with the weather like this', she thought. She walked down the path to where Deliah's grave was, and sure enough, sitting in front of it was Ash. The rain beat down, but he didn't seem to notice. She walked up to him. He started at the picture of his mother, which was at the top of the tombstone in a frame. There was no expression on his face, and he didn't even seem to notice Misty approach. He did, though, and he was secretly thankful. Misty sat down beside him and put her arm around him. She didn't care what he thought of it, she just wanted to be able to be there for him. The rain ceased to a drizzle, and then stopped. He didn't say anything, didn't make a sound. He just let himself be pulled into her arms, and he cried softly into her embrace. He was so lost and confused. Crying was the only way he could express it, because it really was quite sad, the way he was feeling. Neither of the pair had to say anything. They just sat there, in each other's arms. And deep in their hearts they knew what they wanted to say to each other. They brought their lips together, and fulfilled their dreams of having their first kiss with one-another. They both knew, and felt confident about their feelings for each other now, and felt comfortable sharing them. The fear and confusion about their feelings was abolished, and they felt as if a tonne of bricks had been lifted from their hearts. Ash again remembered the conversation he had with his mother just before she died, the one that kept playing in his head over and over.

~*~*~*~Flashback~*~*~*~

Deliah smiled. "Believe me Ash, I can tell when two people are in love, and you two have a sort of connection. Think about it Ash, and when the time is right, tell her. I need to know that you'll do this. Promise me."

He smiled. "I will, when the time is right. I promise."

~*~*~*~ End Flashback~*~*~*~

Misty rested her head on Ash's shoulder. Still, they said nothing. Sound was not needed. Deep in their hearts, they were communicating. And they each heard what the other was saying through this silence, as a rainbow appeared over the horizon of Pallet Town. 

Ash got home and slept for a while. Pikachu was so glad to see him happy that it almost tundershocked everyone, and it jumped into his arms. The two best-buddies embraced, Brock was relived to everyone ok, and happy to see that his two best friends had admitted their feelings for one-another. Ash woke up at midnight, and pulled out his journal. He wrote slowly:

Dear Journal,

I never thought I was pull through this situation. Through my last few entries all I talked about was pain and anguish. But thanks to Misty, I think I've gotten past most of it. Today I went to down to the cemetery. I needed some time to think. All these crazy thoughts had entered my head. I was thinking of giving up training, even running away. But Misty came and found me… Through her actions, I knew that she loved me, and that everything would be alright. I'm so happy. All my fears and worries are gone. We didn't even need to say anything. Somehow I knew her feelings and she knew mine. It was weird. I'll never get over my mom's death. But somehow I now think that I can cope with it, especially with Misty's help. I didn't think I knew what love was, but now I think I understand. I'm going back on my Pokémon journey. I'm gonna make my mom proud and win the Johto League for her! Then I'm going to become a Pokémon Master! Misty told me something today. She said that if I gave up training, that wouldn't just be giving up my dreams, it would also be giving up my mom's dreams. I thought about that. Mom is watching me from Heaven, and giving up would be my way of letting her down. I can't do that. But anyway, now I think I better get some sleep. We leave back for Johto in two days. 

~Ash

Ash closed the journal and smiled. He looked up to where Misty lay on his bed. "I love you. Thankyou", he said to her. Even though she was sleeping, she still mentally heard, and a smile crept up on her face as she slept. 

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Ciao! Luv Sarah.


	6. Promise of Things to Come...

A Test of Strength

A Test of Strength

**By BellaWaterFlower**

Ok, this bit is short, but…

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** **

**Promise of Things to Come…**

** **

Two days later, Ash stood outside his house. He had his backpack, Brock standing on one side, Misty next to him holding his hand, and Pikachu sitting on his shoulders happily. It was time to head back to Johto, and accomplish his dreams. Ash knew that with his loyal Pokémon, his friends by his side, his father waiting for him, and his mother watching over him, he could fulfil his lifelong dream of becoming the Pokémon Master. With all the spirit, enthusiasm and encouragement implanted in his soul at that moment, he could do anything. And nothing could stand in his way. 

**THE END**

I hope you liked it. I had a lot of fun writing it, I love writing sad stuff, and I hope you loved reading it too!

Ciao! Luv Sarah.


End file.
